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the story of general file, dictator of a small lego-ville and a legendary fight between tophat and the ninja.

Will the wily General File continue to be a gentle dictator or will the power vested in him corrupt his morals? Will Tophat's popularity with the people lead to jealousy and retribution from the Bean Bag seat of local power? Will there be talk about weapons of mass destruction? Should the secret admirers of Ninja come out of the closet and declair their lack of confidence in the system? After all, we do not have much history about whether he routinely cleaned up his room when instructed to do so by his mother. Besides that, he got the axe without a public listing of the charges against his approach to civil authority. Will General File find it necessary to turn to his neighbors for support against a rising tide of misunderstanding and public discontent? Will democracy be the real winner, as the people see that they, rather than General File, should be making the decisions that so importantly impact their daily lives?

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general file the script - c. tmk 2000
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snoffleware studios presents
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"the general file" by timothy
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in the land of ipsaheema-minor
there is great disarray and civil unrest
for the forces of disorder have settled
their icy-claws upon the unsuspecting ipsaheeminorians
everything in the kingdom lays scattered about
oh, sure, you could go and put something away
but by morning, it would be right back
where you didn't leave it.
frankly, it was a mess.

something had to be done and quick...
the towns-people gathered together
and decided to elect into their supreme office, a man...
a man who could stand up for ipsaheema-minor
a man who wasn't afraid of a little elbow grease and hard work,

they found their chosen one slowly and with a lack of precision
but the man that they had found was surely the one
to help them find their way back to a better time
back to the good times of cleanliness and predictable order.

that man's name is general file
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crowd:  i say, it's about time that we get some minorians into office...
crowd:  finally, we're going to see changes around here...
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people
listen to me.
i will take the best among you...
and turn you into a fighting machine
and we will prevail over evil.
---
crowd: is it really possible to prevail over evil
crowd: general file, general file, general file
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people
obey me completely
or i will personally see you all melted down.
---
crowd: gasp, would he really do that.  we're people
crowd: gasp, what a horrible strong man.
crowd: gasp, we won't let you down, man.
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	i oppose what you are doing
  where are you?
	i will cut you down where you stand.
	i am tophat
	you don't scare me and neither does general file
	we will see about that, ninja
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we will have a fight to the death.
if the ninja wins, i relinquish control
of ipsaheema-minor to him.
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i will show that ninja no mercy
i am well trained in axe
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very impressive, top hat
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i will tear tophat to pieces
i am 19th degree snake belt
watch my shuhari death spin
sh-uu-hh-aa-rr-ii-hhyah-huh
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a noble sentiment.  now fight
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it takes more than parlor tricks to fool me ninja
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tophat sucks in
--

heh heh heh...
tophat.
---

people.
the ninja has been stopped.
now my gentle fist shall rule this land
thank you and goodnight.
---

© 1999—2024 Timothy Lee Russell

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